Eh

I spent the last month trying to unlove  someone. Let me just tell you right now that it can not be done, but it wasn’t for lack of trying. What I ended up doing was removing myself from an unhealthy situation that amplified my insecurities and left me feeling like no matter what I was never going to be good enough for him to love me. I won’t make that mistake twice. I’d rather be alone than in a relationship that left me questioning who I am. This shit hurts but life is like that at times. It’s just my time.

Brick by Brick

I will dance and sing and scream this ache away BUT I will not cry.

QTNA

I  question every aspect of my feelings for him. Because just loving him doesn’t make sense. The question of “why” doesn’t exist. The question lies in the how-can-I-love-him-more. I can’t understand the fearlessness that I have in loving him and wanting him to occupy this vacant space in my life.

Why don’t I wonder if it’s “true” love? <—— is that an actual thing? How do you navigate love when you’ve never wholeheartedly received it?

I wonder what would he say if he new that I struggle daily with wanting to run away because the fear of him not loving me back is too great a risk for my heart?

He makes me crazy and doesn’t even know.

SDW